my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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