I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
