he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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