Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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