In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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