you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
