Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
