I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i out mim tonsoeep
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