What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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