He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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