Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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