Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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