Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
