he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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