I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
