My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
