Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
