what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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