ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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