Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
