thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Your penis caused this!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
