I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh god the rape fog is back!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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