i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
