guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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