he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
