Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
