dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
