Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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