i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
