I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
