If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
