Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
