This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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