Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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