i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
