i permit you to call me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
