my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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