If i come over, it means nothing
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
