Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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