it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize