I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
