Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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