My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
