my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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