its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
