Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
