I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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