This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my liver is dry heaving
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
