Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
