bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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