the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize