the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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