I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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