That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
