My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
