She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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